Psychologists include sadness as one of the six basic universal emotions, including fear, happiness, disgust, surprise, and anger. Neuroscientists have correlated sadness with particular brain regions and reduced cortical activation. Poets write about sadness. Painters capture it. Even our pets seem sad sometimes. Sadness has a particular felt sense. Maybe you feel it your chest, or belly, or mouth? We notice and sometimes respond when other people are sad. Sometimes we share in their sadness, humans can empathize. Philosophers and great spiritual traditions teach us that there is no happiness or joy without the existence of sadness. Sadness serve us when we slow down and listen to what is being said.

Sadness is but a wall between two gardens. - Khalil Gibran  

Believe it or not, science has shown that an emotion can only last for 90 seconds, tops! So, why are people afraid of sadness? Why do people come to therapy reporting they cannot get over their sadness? What is the difference between sadness and depression, and what about grief? Research has shown it’s more the act of rumination, the replaying the thoughts related to sadness, that keep us blue. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is used to help clients reframe mild to moderate sadness. For example, a mother is sad that her daughter is moving to another state for her dream job. Eventually the mother is able to overcome her sadness as she shifts her focus to her daughter’s happiness. The death of a loved one or other tragic loss may hit differently. Day-to-day reminders following loss may cause enduring sadness as well as deep emotional pain. Bereavement Counseling, individual or group, may provide support to those who are grieving. However, it is important to note that grieving is a process and cannot be rushed. Lastly, we come to depression, a state-of-being that often includes chronic bouts of sadness. The diagnosis of major depressive disorder requires meeting specific criteria, for a minimum length of time, while ruling out other medical conditions for the symptoms. Personal and/or professional functioning is often impaired with varying degrees of severity. This is what brings people into therapy. So, how do we work with depression in session? A client is looked at holistically. Bio-psycho-social factors are explored for sources stressors and support. We look at self-care routines including sleep, diet, and exercise. Poor sleep hygiene, a non-nutrient diet, and lack of exercise can create symptoms of depression. Practical solutions are sought first. Talk therapy alone may be suitable for someone suffering from symptoms of depression. A strong therapeutic alliance is key to the journey back to a place where sadness is more like a friend than foe.

COPING WITH LOSS (free workbook). Please support Mind ReMake Project: www.mindremakeproject.org